I have changed from a non-believer to believer. I have been quite open to different theories regarding the ultimate and out of logical and intellectual reasoning had been a non-believer. But, in the process i became so attached to mind theories that i never really gave a chance for the heart. Yes, i think reasoning is more inclined towards the mind and faith more inclined towards the heart. Both are altogether different trips on their own. I tried one, now am trying to the other :). But mind you, my faith is in the ultimate, not on the mangled religion as i have known it till today. I guess in this process i will be discovering the true ideals of religion as well because ultimately all religions serve the same purpose.
My decision was not made overnight. It happened after some reading and personal experience! As far as reading goes the books initiating the change are
Some personal experience came on Mahashivratri day. I was at Coimbatore at an ashram of Isha Foundation for celebrations of Mahashivratri. I had been there as i was eager for a break and swapnil just happened to ask me if i would come along. Mahashivratri is considered a day of high energy with all energy from body chakras naturally moving upwards. Also on this day , Lord Shiva(that which is Not) is all ears and giving for all his disciples. To make maximum use of this energy, it is necessary to keep the back ( spinal cord as all chakras are on the cerebrospinal (brain-spine) column ) straight from 6 PM to 6 AM. This day also attracts huge crowds from all over the country for celebration and meditation. There were 2 sessions of meditation initiated by the enlightened sadhguru (Jaggi Vasudev)
I dunno if those sessions were meditation or chanting or singing or silence? It involved touching certain parts of the body like the forehead, below the rib cage etc with eyes either half closed or completely closed. I felt strong vibrations all over my body. I cannot express the feeling in words out here but it was something i had never experienced before. Some people out there were almost falling to the ground and crying or screaming and was a sight to see. Their reactions were probably the excess of energy that their body had absorbed and i am assuming is related in a certain sense to faith. Dont worry, its not like a life changing experience or anything, its just something that you have never experienced before.
Swapnil and me happened to stay at the ashram for a few more days. It was really a pleasure to see the brahmachari's out there, both men and women, heads completely shaven and more or less in orange attire. One of the real meditative experience that I had was at Dyanalinga, a temple constructed with a lot science and harvesting loads of energy. One should not make any noise in this temple. The caretaker brahmachari tries to keep the temple absolutely silent. The temple itself is in the shape of a linga (dome shape). An unique feature is that inside there are numerous small caves where one can sit and meditate. Another interesting feature is that the pooja offered to the linga is through sound and not via mantras of any kind.
I happened to visit Dyanalinga everyday. On the last day though, I sat there for almost 3 hours and i must say for the first time i could actually concentrate on just 1 object. No other thoughts. I have tried to concentrate on just 1 object for about 6 months and it had been impossible. Here, it was easy! I have listed just a few of the many moments that i cherished at the ashram and thank swapnil for it.
And so, the journey begins .........